DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER

1. Wrath or anger is often the root cause of an unforgiving spirit. Anger is a normal human emotion that is caused by hurt or pain. Everyone gets peeved! Upset! Or mad. This is a normal human experience. Nevertheless, we must deal with our anger in a spiritual, Christ-like manner.

2.What happens when a believer holds on to anger? Unhealthy anger can create detrimental attitudes, like resentment, bitterness, hostility, strife and envy. Pretty soon these cancerous emotions eat away at your spiritual life. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that we learn how to harness our anger.

3. The Wisdom literature of Solomon provides insight concerning rage. Solomon explained that we must be slow to anger. A person who is 'arek {slow} to anger or is longsuffering can calm the inner issue of strife (Proverbs 15:18).

4. In the same way anger provokes strife, patience fosters peace and tranquility. When the spiritual balm of longsuffering is applied to our anger, a soothing of the soul is produced in the heart of the believer. Cooler heads prevail when longsuffering is exercised. The spiritual fruit of longsuffering will reduce anger in your life.

5. Solomon illustrated this truth in the book of Proverbs. He explained to us that those who are slow to anger are compared to those who capture an entire city. When a believer has mashal {dominion} over his own spirit he is of more value than those who are physically strong (Proverbs 16:32).

6. We do not reveal our inner strength through anger, but by self-control. This is completely contrary to the philosophy of the world. Secular ideology suggests that you gain control through fear and intimidation. Many individuals use anger manipulation to get what they want. The technique of fear is employed when one says, “I will make you pay if you don’t give me what I want.” Instead of being miserable we surrender to their personal demands.

7. Even children learn to use anger to their advantage at a very young age. For instance, they throw a temper tantrum and we give them what they want in order to quiet them down. When we reward this type of behavior we are encouraging the perverted act of anger manipulation. Every successful act of surrender is registered in their minds. Consequently, they consistently repeat this behavior to gain what they want. Their thought process is being formed or better yet, deformed. The die is being cast. They think, “It worked once, I’ll do it again. This must be how you get what you want.”

8. Nevertheless, the wise parent does not reward rage and wrath. Unbridled anger will consign your child to a life of pain and misery. For instance, Solomon said, “A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again (Proverbs 19:19). In other words, repeated failures will occur. You can save your child from a life of heartache by dealing with their anger at very young age.

9. As a parent, there are a few things you can do to nurture your child’s temperament. The very first lesson we must learn is to reward self-control. Do not reward temper tantrums!

10. Anger manipulation often begins at a very young age. Let me illustrate, it is around 9:00 p.m. in the evening and it is time for you to put your baby to bed. You prepare the bottle for that last feeding. You change his diaper and gently put your infant to sleep. However, your baby does not want to go to sleep. He begins to scream like a Comanche Indian about to go on the war-path. The natural response for the parent is to pick the baby up. All of a sudden the baby stops crying. You lay the baby back down and he begins to scream all over again. You pick the baby up, he stops crying. Please understand, I a not referring to a sick or hungry baby. Use a little common sense here. The truth of the matter is your baby just wants to be held. So you spend the next two hours rocking the baby to sleep. Momma, you didn’t realize it then, but you just agreed to rock your baby to sleep each night for two hours for the next ten years!

11. Have you ever met the parent who took their child for a ride each night to get them to stop crying so that they would go to sleep? In reality the child took you for a ride!What ever happen to putting your child to bed at nine o’clock each night crying or no crying? After a couple a nights, your child will learn it is bedtime. Go ahead and lay them down. If they cry and they are not sick or running a fever, let them cry!

12. A couple of years go by. Your child is now two years old. You are grocery shopping at Kroger. Shopping with a two year can be eventful to say the least. As you begin to go
through the check-out line your child begins to see all the candy. As you begin to empty the shopping cart you look out of the corner of your eye and see that your child is reaching for a candy bar. You say, “No, no, no, no!” Your child says, “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Your child becomes angry and begins to cry like a Comanche Indian about to go on the war-path. You do your best to quite your child. You put your right index finger to your mouth and say,“Shhhhhhhhhhhh.” But he continues to scream at the top of his lungs. He wants that candy bar! Needless to say, you are embarrassed by the fit your child is throwing. To shut the child up you surrender and buy the candy bar. Your child just successfully used anger to manipulate you to get what he wanted. You rewarded bad behavior. By the way, it only gets worse as your child gets older. Anger, bitterness and an unforgiving spirit will become their way life.

13. If you deal with your child’s anger in the early stages they will learn to become forgiving individuals. Anger and unforgiveness are linked together in the scriptures. You can mark it down, those who are unforgiving and hold grudges as adults had an anger problem in their youth.

14. Please take note! Unforgiving people have anger issues. Anger is the root cause behind an unforgiving spirit. A wise man learns to defuse his anger. This is what Solomon meant when he said, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11).This is an awesome text that deals with anger and forgiveness! Notice who Solomon is describing. He is portraying a man of “discretion.” The Hebrew word sekel {discretion} means wisdom, insight, and understanding. This wise man possesses two outstanding qualities according to this verse.

a. First of all, the wise man has a long fuse. The word 'arak {deferreth} means to continue long. It is also translated “to draw out” or “to lengthen.” In other words, the wise man has a long fuse. The cord that ignites the passion of his anger is lengthy and drawn out. He defers his anger. He is not easily set off! On the other hand, have you ever met the man who has “a short fuse?” It really doesn’t take much to set him in orbit. Solomon calls him a fool (Ecclesiastes 7:9). The only difference between the wise man and the fool is how he deals with his anger. The wise man has a long fuse.

b. Secondly, the wise man does not embrace the faults of others. Notice the second part of the text (Proverbs 19:11). He has the spiritual insight to `abar {pass over or pass through} the transgressions of others. In other words, he doesn’t hold on to the faults of others. When he is confronted with the flaws of men, he lets it pass through. He doesn’t keep a list of faults. The wise man doesn’t constantly grasp at the blemishes of others. He doesn’t record the imperfections of men. Solomon explained that it is the glory of the wise man to let go of the transgressions of others. The prudent individual has a long fuse and doesn’t keep a list of the failures of others. He is not a fault finder!

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Let it go! Don’t hold on to flaws of your friends. Anger, bitterness and resentment will only hurt you in the long run.