WHAT TO DO
When you don’t know what to do?

LET IT GO

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Learn to forgive. Let it go! Move on, by all means. Don’t hold a grudge. Don’t be held hostage by ill feelings toward someone else.

1. Keeping a tally sheet of all mistreatments will only hurt you in the long run. Those who embrace “the get even” philosophy are very unhappy people. Let God move you through the process of hurt to healing. As you progress through your emotional wounds learn to let go of animosity, bitterness and hostility.

2. Harboring feelings of resentment will destroy your spiritual life. Furthermore, your root of bitterness could spill over onto others and spoil the spiritual growth of those around you (Hebrews 12:15).

3. It is wrong for you and me to make a proverbial hit list of those who have hurt us?

Maybe you can identity with the story Chuck Swindoll shared in his one of his sermons. Swindoll said,

It’s like the fellow who was bitten by a dog and was later told by his physician, “Yes, indeed, you do have rabies.” Upon hearing this, the patient immediately pulled out a pad and pencil and began to write.Thinking the man was making out his will, the doctor said, “Listen, this doesn’t mean you’re going to die. There’s a cure for rabies.” “I know that,” said the man. “I’m making a list of people I’m gonna bite.”[1]

Perhaps you are making a list of people you are going to bite. You are going to get even no matter what. Have we forgotten that vengeance belongs to God alone? How can the believer learn to forgive? First of all, we must not be vengeful.

DON’T BE VENGEFUL

Paul shared some transforming truths regarding revenge. In his letter to the Romans, he
said, “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:17-21).

The child of God must be a peacemaker and not a troublemaker (Matthew 5:9). The believer must refuse to be the instigator of conflict.

Notice the content of Paul’s charge.

1. First of all, the believer must never entertain thoughts of pay back (v. 17a). The Greek word apodidomi {recompense} literally means to pay back. In other words, if you do me wrong, I am going to do you wrong. This is pay back!

"There were some fellows in the military who were stationed in Korea during the Korean War. While there, they hired a local boy to cook and clean for them. Being a bunch of jokesters, these guys soon took advantage of the boy’s seeming naiveté. They’d smear Vaseline on the stove handles so that when he’d turn the stove on in the morning he’d get grease all over his fingers. They’d put little water buckets over the door so that he’d get deluged when he opened the door. They’d even nail his shoes to the floor during the night. Day after day the little fella took the brunt of their practical jokes without saying anything. No blame…no self-pity…no temper tantrums.Finally the men felt guilty about what they were doing, so they sat down with the young Korean and said, “Look, we know these pranks aren’t funny anymore, and we’re sorry. We’re never gonna take advantage of you again.” It seemed too good to be true to the houseboy. “No more sticky on stove?” he asked. “Nope.” “No more water on door?” “No.” “No more nail shoes to floor?” “Nope, never again.” “Okay,” the boy said with a smile… “no more spit in soup.”[2]

Even though we might not spit in someone’s soup, we all have been involved in pay backs at one time or the other. Paul commanded the believer to refrain from pay backs.

2. Secondly, Paul commanded the believer to be honorable (v. 17b). In other words, do what is right in the sight of all men. Act honorably while others act dishonorably. Do the right thing even though others are doing the wrong thing. When people mistreat you, you can react in two ways. You can take the high road and respond like Jesus, or you can plan a process of pay back. However, we must remember, if we choose the second option we become like those who are doing evil. Do you really want to be like those who do such wickedness? Let me illustrate. Suppose someone rips you off financially. In the midst of your pain and suffering you begin to strategically plan a means of pay back. You initiate the pay back successfully and hurt the person who hurt you. In reality the outcome was not successful! Why? Because you have became like the person who hurt you. You did evil just like they did evil. As a matter of fact you didn’t take the high road. You took the low road of pay back. Paul issued a command for the believer to act honorably.

3. Thirdly, the believer must be an ambassador of peace (v. 18). Paul told Timothy that the servant of the Lord must not be a person of strife. He must be gentle, patient and meek (2 Timothy 2:24). Carnal, combatant Christians are ineffective in ministry. However, the spirit-filled saint will go to extremes to keep peace and unity in the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:3).

Are you the kind of person that gets easily upset? Is fellowshipping with you kind of like walking through a field of land mines? You never know what might set you off. Are you the kind of person that must be handled with “kid cloves?” Do you thrive on trouble, turbulence and turmoil? Are you the proverbial “drama queen or king?” Everything seems to be a major issue with you. Do you feed off frenzy? Do you cause people to walk on “egg shells” in your presence? Are you so sensitive that if someone looks at you the wrong way you get your feelings hurt? Certainly no one desires to have this kind of testimony or reputation. Yet our churches are full of individuals who are easily offended. Paul instructed the believer to do
everything humanly possible to live in peace with each other.

4. Fourthly, let God handle the retribution (v. 19). Don’t be a vengeful person. Many scholars translate the phrase, “but rather give place unto wrath,” as “leave room for the wrath of God.”[3] Everett F. Harrison agrees with this more literal translation.[4] Quoting from Deuteronomy 32:35, Paul reminded the believer that vengeance belongs to God alone. In His divine plan, God can handle our enemies in His time without our intrusion or assistance.

Someone might ask, “How should I handle my enemies?” Anticipating this question, Paul shared some rather unusual advice. He told the persecuted believers at Rome to nikao {overcome} or conquer evil by doing good. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Such godly behavior would soreuo {heap} or overwhelm your enemy with shame. The insight Paul was trying to teach was that loving your enemy by meeting his needs would convict him of his hostility. Concerning this unusual phrase, John Witmer says, “The coals on the head may refer to a ritual in Egypt in which a person showed his repentance by carrying a pan of burning charcoal on his head. Helping rather than cursing an enemy may cause him to be ashamed and penitent.”[5] Conquer evil by doing good! The life of Corrie Ten Boom illustrates this principle.

"It wasn’t easy for Corrie Ten Boom to forgive the Nazi captors who had tormented her at Ravensbruck. They had caused her to suffer horribly. Even worse, they had caused the death of her sister, Betsy. Ten years after her release, Corrie ran into a lady who wouldn’t look her in the eyes. Asking about her, Corrie was told the woman had been a nurse at a concentration camp. Suddenly the memories flashed back. Corrie recalled taking Betsy to the infirmary to see this woman. Betsy’s feet were paralyzed, and she was dying. The nurse had been cruel and sharp-tongued.Corrie’s hatred now returned with vengeance. Her rage so boiled that she knew of but one thing to do. “Forgive me,” she cried out to the Lord, “Forgive my hatred, O Lord. Teach me to love my enemies.” The blood of Jesus Christ seemed to suddenly cool her embittered heart, and Corrie felt the rage being displaced with a divine love she couldn’t explain. She began praying for the woman, and one day shortly afterward she called the hospital where the nurse worked and invited the woman to a meeting at which she was speaking.“What!” replied the nurse. “Do you want me to come?”“Yes, that is why I called you.”
“Then I’ll come.” That evening the nurse listened carefully to Corrie’s talk, and afterward Corrie sat down with her, opened her Bible, and explained 1 John 4:9: “In this the love of God
was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.” The woman seemed to thirst for Corrie’s quiet, confident words about God’s love for us, his enemies. And that night, a former captive led her former captor to “a decision that made the angels sing.” God had taken Corrie’s subconscious feelings of hatred, she later explained, and transformed them, using them as a window through which His light could shine into a darkened heart.[6]

Corrie Ten Boom conquered the evil of this nurse by loving her to Jesus Christ. Don’t be vengeful! Let God deal with your enemies. By all means, let it go!


[1] Charles Swindoll, Hope Again, (Dallas, London, Vancouver, Melbourne: Word Publishing, 1996), 83.
[2] Ibid, 83-84.
[3] John MacArthur, Jr., The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Romans 9-16, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1994), 2:202.
[4] Everett F. Harrison, The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Romans, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1976), 135.
[5] John A. Witmer, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Romans, (Colorado Springs: ChariotVictor Publishing, 1983), 490.
[6] Robert J Morgan, Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations, & Quotes, (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000), 266.