Maranatha Messenger

WHAT TO DO
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

ASKING ALL THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
(Part 4)

QUESTIONNAIRE

1. Where in the scriptures does God command me to love my spouse?
□ Men _______
□ Ladies _______

2. Does Jesus Christ love me unconditionally?
□ Yes
□ No
Explain: _____________________________________________________________

3. What is unconditional love?
Explain: _____________________________________________________________

4. What should MY focus be?
□ The faults of my spouse?
□ Or my own personal responsibilities?

5. As a spouse, where do I focus my attention?
□ My personal faults?
□ Or the faults of my spouse?

6. As a spouse, what does God command?
□ I am called to change my spouse?
□ God has command me to love my spouse? Warts and all!!!!

7. Do you ever say mean things to your spouse?
□ Yes
□ No
□ Sometimes

Ephesians 4:29-32 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. {to...: or, to edify profitably} 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

IF IT DOESN’T EDIFY DON’T SAY IT! ASK YOUSELF, “WOULD I SAY THIS TO JESUS?”

8. Would your spouse consider you to be longsuffering? Do you keep a record of wrong doing?
□ Yes
□ No

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, {vaunteth...: or, is not rash}.”

9. Do you keep a record of wrong doing?
□ Yes
□ No

1 Corinthians 13:5 “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” The literal rendering of logizomai ou kakos {thinketh no evil} is “keeps no record of wrongs.”

10. Does love ever give up and lose hope?
□ Yes
□ No

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth:”

Maranatha Messenger

DEAR MARANATHA FAMILY,

Please pray for Steve Tardy as he prepares to teach this coming Sunday. Pray three specific prayers:

1. As you come to class this Sunday ask Jesus to fill your heart with the Spirit of wisdom and understanding.

2. As you come to class this Sunday ask Jesus to transform your heart with His precious Word.

3. As you come to class this Sunday ask Jesus to renew your passion for Him.

Specific prayers receive specific answers! I truly expect and anticipate God to do great things this coming Sunday! Steve, we love you and pray for God to use you for His honor and glory.

See ya this Sunday!

Brother Tim

Maranatha Messenger

WHAT TO DO
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

REDEFINE YOUR PRIORITIES
(Part 3)


IS YOUR SPOUSE A PRIORITY?

How can I juggle all the hats I wear? I have a job, a mortgage, a wife, a kid, three dogs and a cat. Beside that, I coach little league, attend church, teach in the AWANAS and sing in the choir. How do I manage my responsibilities? Without a doubt I need to get a grip on my priorities. I must clearly understand my family commitments. Where do I begin?

I. First of all, I must begin with my spouse. The husband-wife union is the primary relationship in the family. All other relationships are secondary! Is your spouse the number one priority in your life?

1. The apostle Paul shared some keen insight into the husband-wife relationship in Ephesians 5:21-33. Paul explains to us where we should begin. He was very devoted to priorities! He began with submission to the Lordship of Christ (v. 21). Both husband and wife must hupotasso {submit} one another in the fear of the Lord. God must be first in your marriage!

2. The Greek word hupotasso means to fall under or to be arranged under. Paul’s talking about priorities. Things must be right vertically so things can be right horizontally. Paul says we must submit “one to another in the fear of the Lord.” If my perpendicular relationship with God is wrong, then my parallel relationships with man will be wrong. Carnal Christians will have a carnal marriage! Therefore, it is advantageous that both man and woman come under the authority of Jesus Christ. Paul begins with a mutual submission to each other “in the fear of the Lord.

3. In this passage of scripture, the comparative expression “as” is found seven times (v.22-33). The husband-wife relationship is “as” Christ and the church. The paradigm for the husband is Christ and the pattern for the wife is the church.

4. Notice the submission of the wife. Paul addressed the wife’s submission to her husband (v.22). This is probably the last thing contemporary society wants to hear. Therefore, perhaps we need to define this term. John MacArthur, Jr. says, “Be subject is from hupotasso, originally a military term meaning to arrange or rank under. Spirit –filled Christians rank themselves under one another. The main idea is that of relinquishing one’s rights to another person.”[1]

5. Nonetheless, Paul is quite clear that the wife’s submission to her husband should be like her submission to the Lord. In reality, the wife’s submission to her husband is a reflection of her submission to the Lord. Ladies, if you desire to see where you are spiritually look into the mirror of submission to your own husband.

6. Why would she submit to her husband if she has not submitted to Christ? Priorities build off of each other. If we get one detail out of order, we usually get other things out of sequence. Please keep in mind that hupotasso is a military term that explains rank. This does not mean that women are inferior to men; however it does mean that God has an ordained chain of command.

Let me illustrate:

God has ordained civil government to keep law and order in society. Paul says, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers” (Romans 13:1). Let’s suppose that I refuse to be hupotasso {subject} to the higher powers of civil government. I decide to invent my own speed limit. The authorities set the speed limit at 55. But I want to drive 75. A rookie cop only 25 years old pulls me over for speeding. He is young and has very little education. I begin to rationalize. This cop is only half my age, he doesn’t even have a college degree and he’s going to tell me what to do? He is inferior to me so I don’t have to obey the speed limit. This kind of rationalization has put many a person in jail! This has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority. It has to do with God’s designed rank and order! Disobedience to civil government brings chaos and anarchy! My rebellion will bring confusion to society. Why? Because I chose not to submit to God ordained authority.

II. Secondly, Paul addressed the sacrifice of the husband. He explained how the husband must love his wife, “even as Christ loved the church” (v.25).

1. The Greek word kathos {even as} means to the same degree. Paul gave the husbands in the Ephesian church a standard on how to love their wives. While many define love as an emotion or erotic passion, Paul explained love as sacrificial giving. In the same way Christ sacrificially gave His life for the church, the husband must give himself to his wife.

2. The husband’s primary role in the marital relationship is that of servant-leader. He must lovingly serve his wife in the home. Husbands, next to the Lord, your wife is the number one priority in your life! Do you love her as Christ loved the church? I know you have a busy schedule! I know you have a job! Nevertheless, your wife needs to understand that she is the number one priority in your life.

Illustration:

Not long ago I read an article about President Harry Truman. While his schedule was demanding we learn something about his priorities. The report said,
A few years ago, the Harry S. Truman Library in Independence, MO, made public 1,300 recently-discovered letters that the late President wrote to his wife, Bess, over the course of a half-century. Mr. Truman had a lifelong rule of writing to his wife every day they were apart. He followed this rule whenever he was away on official business or whenever Bess left Washington to visit her beloved Independence. Scholars are examining the letters for any new light they may throw on political and diplomatic history. For our part, we were most impressed by the simple fact that every day he was away, the President of the United States took time out from his dealing with the world’s most powerful leaders to sit down and write a letter to his wife.[2]

Although President Truman met with world diplomats and bore the responsibility of leading America, he didn’t forget his wife.

3. It should be the life long ambition of every husband to convince his wife she is first in his life. How can I accomplish this feat? As the servant-leader to the home, the husband must strive to meet the physical and emotional needs of the wife. Paul said, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband” (Ephesians 5:28-29, 33).

I want to focus on two important words:

(a.) The first word is ektrephei {nourisheth} which refers to the physical needs of the wife. In the same way Christ meets the physical needs of the church, the husband is to meet the physical needs of his wife. He must literally love her as his own body!

(b.) The second significant word is thalpei {cherisheth} or more literally to keep it warm. This word means to foster affection or to cherish with tender care. The husband must gently love his wife by taking care of her emotional needs. He must make her feel emotionally and physically secure.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Review your priorities! Is your spouse the number one priority in your life? If not, maybe you need to redefine your priorities?

1. How important is mutual submission to Christ in marriage?
2. The wife’s submission to her husband is reflection of what?
3. How is the husband to love his wife?


[1] John MacArthur, Jr., The MacArthur New Testament Commentary Ephesians, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1986), 276.
[2] Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, pp. 15-16.

Maranatha Messenger

WHAT TO DO
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

REDEFINE YOUR PRIORITIES
Part 2

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? We must re-align our priorities. God must be at the core of our concerns! Like you and I, the church at Ephesus had gotten their priorities out of order (Revelation 2:1-7). They had become unbalanced in three areas.

Notice three areas they became unbalanced:

1. First of all, they became unbalanced in the area of work and worship (v. 2a). The church at Ephesus was known for its energetic activity and lively programs. Notice the trilogy of verbs that describe the hectic schedule of this fellowship, “I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience” (v. 2a). They were known for their ergon {works} and deeds. They were a working church! Furthermore, they not only worked, they kopos {labored} to the point of complete exhaustion. They toiled faithfully in spite of weariness and fatigue. They were totally consumed by ministry! Our Lord used the action verb hupomone {patience} to explain their endurance. In other words, they stayed by the stuff as far as serving was concerned.

a. Their work ethic became a substitute for worship. Work replaced worship. Activity surrogated adoration. Ministry expelled the Master. Service superseded the Savior. Deeds dethroned devotion. Performance preceded passion. Rigor reduced relationship. Labor lessened love. Their priorities had been reversed! The church at Ephesus had gotten the proverbial cart before the horse. The primacy of Jesus Christ had fallen out of order. Their work completely replaced their worship. Spiritually speaking, they had aphiemi {left} or let go of their “first love.” They had become unbalanced in the area of work and worship.

b. Likewise, the contemporary Christian has become inundated with “church work” while worship has become a lesser priority. The church has become a center of activity and not a place of adoration. While ministry, serving, and working are needed in the congregation we must learn somehow to strike a balance between the two. Worship should fuel our work! The outpouring of the believer’s service should be a direct result of His worship.

2. Secondly, they became unbalanced in the area of position and disposition (v. 2b). The discerning members of the Ephesian congregation had very little tolerance for sin. They were known to stand against the moral evil of the day. Furthermore, they were rooted and grounded in theological truth. They had rejected the false teachers in the fellowship who phasko {claimed} to be successors to the apostles. They were diligent and discerning students of scripture opposing both moral and doctrinal error. Even though they were spiritually orthodox, affection for Christ was clearly absent from their lives. Their staunch theological position influenced their spiritual disposition. Their holy hatred for sin spilled over into hatred for the sinner. In their fervent zeal for the truth
they lost their sweet spirit for the Savior. As the old country preacher use to say, “That feller preached on Hell as if he wanted people to go there.” In other words, the hell fire preacher lacked compassion when he preached on the judgment of God.

a. How many times have we viewed the scowling face of a believer as he pickets an abortion clinic? What about incidents of bombings, gun shots and murders by religious terrorist at abortion mills? Undoubtedly, terminating the life of an unborn child is an abomination! I whole heartily agreed with this position! However, to wear a disposition of hatred, malice and meanness places us into the same category of the abortionist.

b. We must hate illegal drugs! But Jesus wants us to love the junkie! Spiritually speaking we must detest immorality. Yet we must love the whoremonger! Without a doubt, homosexuality is vile and repulsive. Nevertheless, we must love the Sodomite! We must strike a balance in our position and disposition. Thank God, the believers at Ephesus embraced the correct theological position. They quickly exposed and expelled the religious apostates in the church. In spite of their doctrinal fidelity, their spiritual disposition was hardened when they forsook their first love. Because of this abandonment they were divorced from the love of God. Therefore, their disposition became cold, uncaring and unkind. Nothing appears more unpleasant than a calloused orthodox Christian. May God help us balance our spiritual position with a sweet and loving disposition.

3. Thirdly, they became unbalanced in perseverance and passion (vv. 3-5). Verse 3 makes it clear that the Ephesian believers weren’t quitters. They patiently labored and carried their cross persistently. Nevertheless, our Lord clearly protested the confusing of their priorities. He strongly rebuked them by saying, “I have [somewhat] against thee, because thou hast left thy first love” (v. 4). In other words, Jesus levels a complaint on where He ranked in their lives. He no longer held protos {first} place in their hearts. What an insult to the Son of God! John Walvoord said, “In the Greek the order of the words is especially emphatic in that the object of the verb is before the verb—“thy first love thou hast left.”[1] The Ephesian Church persevered, but they did not have passion for Christ.

a. Ever become mechanical and methodical in worship? They went through all the motions without any emotions. This was dead orthodoxy at its worst!

b. Likewise, the contemporary church mirrors the Ephesian mess. We are fundamental. There is no doubt we are theologically sound. We’re up to ears in ministry. It seems as if we invent new ministries to occupy our time. The machinery of ministry is well oiled. Even so, we too have left our first love. Our families are enrolled in all the programs. But a passionate and personal relationship with Jesus seems nonexistent.

c. Ever perform your religious routines, but ignore the person of Jesus Christ. Yes we are active, but were not affectionate. We are working, but we‘re not worshipping. We persevere, but we don’t pray. We are present, but we are not passionate! It almost seems like we have replaced the Master with ministry, adoration for activity and deeds for devotion.

What is the solution to this problem?

1. The Lord Jesus Christ advised the Ephesian congregation to do two things. First of all, Christ issued a call to mnemoneuo {remember} (v. 5a). It is so easy to get caught up in ministry that we forget what Christ has done for us. We fail to remember that we have been delivered from sin.

a. Take special note on how Jesus described their spiritual condition. He said they were ekpipto {fallen}. What a shocking statement! They were active, but Jesus said they were “fallen.” They were serving, but Jesus said they were “fallen.” Oh come on? We know the adulterer is fallen! We know the drunkard is fallen! We know the prostitute is fallen. How could Jesus claim the entire church membership in Ephesus was fallen? There has to be a mistake!

b. Jesus precisely diagnosed their spiritual condition; they had “left their first love.” In their hearts they had forsaken God. The outside was consumed with religious activity, but the inside was cold and calloused. This is the vilest of sins! Since loving God is the greatest commandment, not loving Him must be the greatest sin.

c. How could this church congregation get back to where they were spiritually? Jesus knew that memory and meditation would renew a passion for worship. How soon we forget! It is so easy to take our salvation for granted. Serious contemplation concerning the provisions of Christ can restore a passion for worship. Reminiscing about where we were (our past spiritual condition) and relating it to where we are (our present spiritual condition), will rekindle the fire of devotion in our hearts. The Lord Jesus Christ knew the Ephesain assembly needed a revival of remembering!

2. Secondly, Christ issued a call to metanoeo {repent} (v. 5b). Jesus explained to them that repentance involved doing their “first works.”

a. In other words, they left their “first love” because they ceased performing their “first works.” Notice the word protos {first} works. This was not a lazy church! Jesus even commended them for their hard work (vv. 2-3). They were not to repent from working, but they must return to their “first works!” Jesus was referring to works that were “first” in rank, time, order and succession.

b. Our Lord was informing them that some works are given a status of a higher priority than others. The church at Ephesus needed to rediscover their priorities! What are the first works of a new believer?

(1.) First of all, there is a hunger for worship. There seems to be an insatiable desire to know Him more intimately. The sincerest of prayers are offered. Bible study is greatly anticipated and enjoyed. Zealously sharing our faith is important. Wanting to see friends and family saved is a priority.

(2.) A return to the basic fundamentals of the Christian life can renew our love and passion for Christ. Simply walking with God must rank first in our list of priorities.

What if I’m satisfied with my priorities? What if I chose not to repent and return to my first works? Perhaps some of the Ephesians believers had this mindset. Christ adds this solemn warning to His command, “or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent” (Revelation 2:5b). Those two little words “or else” strike fear in my heart. This word of caution reminds us of the consequences of disobeying God. Jesus warned this local fellowship that He would act swiftly by kineo {removing} their candlestick. In other words, He would cut off their
Christian witness. The light of their testimony would be forever extinguished! As a result, they would cease being a church! Yes, there are consequences for those who chose to disobey God. Therefore, it is extremely important for the believer to have his priorities arranged in proper order. Is Jesus first in your life?

Discussion

1. Why do believers have difficulty in the area of balance?

2. Discuss the subject of unbalance in the area of position and disposition.

3. Why do believers become methodical and mechanical in worship?

4. How can we keep the fire burning in our relationship with Christ?


[1] John F. Walvoord, The Revelation of Jesus Christ, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1966), 55.

Maranatha Messenger

WHAT TO DO
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

REDEFINE YOUR PRIORITIES
Part 1

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Sometimes we need to redefine our priorities.

1. Why is it so easy to get our priorities out of line? Things that are unimportant seem to be important. Issues that are really insignificant seem to be significant. I agree with German author Johann Wolfgang von Goethe who said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”[1]

2. How do I rediscover my priorities? How do I list or rank the priorities in my life? Determining your priorities can certainly be valuable. Author Kent Hughes, informs us how understanding our priorities can be essential. Hughes said,

A number of years ago a fascinating interview took place between Mr. Charles Schwab, then president of Bethlehem Steel, and Ivy Lee, a self-styled
management consultant. Lee was an aggressive, self-confident man who by his perseverance had secured the interview with Mr. Schwab, who was no less
self-assured, being one of the most powerful men in the world. During the conversation, Mr. Lee asserted that if the management of Bethlehem Steel
would follow his advice, the company’s operations would be improved and their profits increased. Schwab responded, ‘If you can show us a way to get
more things done, I’ll be glad to listen; and if it works, I’ll pay you whatever you ask within reason.’ Lee handed Schwab a blank piece of paper and
said, ‘Write down the most important things you have to do tomorrow.’ Mr. Schwab did so. Now, Lee continued, ‘Number them in order of importance.’
Schwab did so. ‘Tomorrow morning start on number one, and stay with it until you have completed it. Then go on to number two and number three and
number four…Don’t worry if you haven’t completed everything by the end of the day. At least you will have completed the most important projects. Do
this every day. After you have been convinced of the value of this system, have your men try it. Try it as long as you like, and then send me your check for
whatever you think the advice is worth.’ The two men shook hands and Lee left the president’s office. A few weeks later Charles Schwab sent Ivy Lee
a check for $25,000—an astronomical amount in the 1930s! He said it was the most profitable lesson he had learned in his long business career.[2]

Businessman Ivy Lee discovered the benefit of understanding the principle of priorities. How does scripture define the believer’s priorities? Does God’s Word teach us about putting things into perspective?

IS GOD FIRST IN YOUR LIFE?

1. A young lawyer interrogated Jesus on the subject of priorities. This legalist inquired, “Master, which [is] the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment” (Matthew 22:36-38).

2. This nomikos {expert of the Mosaic Law} desired to debate Jesus on the greatest commandment in the Torah. In other words, he wanted to know which one of the 613 Mosaic commandments Jesus would cite as His favorite. Which command was most significant? How would Jesus prioritize the commandments?

3. The Rabbis divided the 613 laws into two separate groups. The first group involved the 248 affirmative laws, one for every part of the human body. The second group included the 365 negative laws, one for each day of the year.

4. Needless to say, the opinionated Rabbis spent countless hours ranking the significance of the various laws.[3] How would Jesus answer this calculated question?

5. Without any hesitation, Jesus began to quote from Deuteronomy 6:5 which commands us to love God with our whole being. While the Jews were busy with ceremonies and religious rites, Jesus informed this young man that loving God involves the inner heart of man. Loving God with our all of our heart, soul and mind connects the whole essence of man. We must love Him first! Ed Glasscock says, “The word ‘first’ is an adjective ascribing prominence or superior importance to its antecedent (‘commandment’). Therefore Jesus was stating that the commandment to love God with one’s whole being is the most distinguished and preeminent of all the commandments.”[4] Are you passionately pursuing God? Is He the center of your life?

Discussion

Why is it so hard to keep your priorities straight?

Is it hard to keep your spiritual life a priority?

Where should Jesus rank in our priorities?

How should we determine our priorities?




[1] Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989), 146.
[2] Kent Hughes, Liberating Ministry From the Success Syndrome, ( Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishing, Inc, 1988), 54.
[3] John MacArthur, Jr. The MacArthur New Testament Commentary Matthew 16-23, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1988), 338.
[4] Ed Glasscock, Moody Gospel Matthew Commentary, (Chicago: Moody Press, 1997), 437.