WHAT TO DO
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do Right
(Part 4 )
ARE THERE OTHER ALTERNATIVES?
The first alternative one can consider is adoption. In the early 1950’s when a girl got pregnant outside of wedlock she was normally sent out of state to a school for unwed mothers. Generally the school would locate potential parents for the adopted child. After a series of interviews a suitable parent would be carefully chosen for the child. The screening process involved several factors; such as religion, employment, finances and the ability to provide a safe environment for the child. Thousands of children were placed in good homes with godly parents.
However, on January 22, 1973 the United States Supreme Court decreed that the taking of unborn human life is constitutionally protected up until the moment of birth. In 1982 the U. S. Senate Judiciary Committee concluded in an official report, "No significant legal barriers of any kind whatsoever exist today in the United States for a woman to obtain an abortion for any reason during any stage of her pregnancy."
[1] America would never be the same after, January 22, 1973! How many babies have been murdered? Who are having abortions? Several interesting statistics are given by Dr. John Piper in an
article he wrote on January 26, 2003. Piper says,
“About forty million abortions have been performed in America.” Piper goes on to say that, “according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention about 43% of all American women will have at least one abortion by the age 45. 20% of these are performed on teenagers. 50% are performed on women who have had at least one abortion already. Every third baby conceived and viable in this country is killed by abortion. The vast majority of abortions are performed between the seventh and tenth week when the baby is already sucking his thumb, recoiling from pricking, responding to sound. All his organs are present, the brain is functioning, the heart is pumping, the liver is making blood cells, the kidneys are cleaning fluids, and there is a fingerprint. His genetic code is uniquely and unquestionably human. And, if we are willing, he can be seen by ultrasound.”
[2]The statistics in Piper’s article are staggering! It only stands to reason that the adoption percentage would drop drastically after the legalization of abortion. Just how much has Roe v. Wade affected the adoption rate in America? According to the National Committee for Adoption, in 1969, before Roe verses
Wade, 25% of unwed mothers chose adoption as a viable solution to an unwanted pregnancy. However, in 1991 (after Roe verses Wade) only 4% of unwed mothers chose adoption as an alternative.
[3] What happened to the other 21%? Take a guess! Nonetheless, the real question that must be answered is what kind of immediate affect did Roe v. Wade have on the adoption alternative? According to research compiled by the United States Department of Health,
“Before the availability of legal abortion became widespread, relinquishing children for adoption was one of few options open to women with unwanted or mistimed births. The number of adoptions rose from 91,000 in 1957 to 175,000 in 1970, then fell to 130,000 by 1975; the decline of the early 1970s coincided with the legalization of abortion.”
[4]Are there really good and godly people who desire to adopt a baby? Since 1979 I have personally had scores of families ask me for assistance in adopting a child. I have discovered several obstacles.
1. First of all, there are many terminally sick children who are waiting to be adopted from government agencies. It certainly takes a special person to get involved with critically ill children.
2. Secondly, there are children in units that can be adopted. This simply means the state does not want to break up siblings sets (brothers and sisters). In other words, you can take on two, three, or even four children at one time since they are siblings. Nonetheless, it is understandable that most people are not up to the challenge of taking on several children all at one time.
3. Thirdly, there are legal obstacles one must face. In most cases the adopting parents must live in the same state as the parent who is giving up the baby. Also, you are responsible for all medical and legal cost during and after the pregnancy. This can soar to thousands of dollars.
4. Fourthly, it only stands to reason that the percentage of children to adopt has dropped drastically since Roe v. Wade.
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONThrough the entire pregnancy process everyone is searching for “the right answer.” In our panic-stricken search for solutions it seems we forget to ask “the right questions.” We will never discover the right answers until we ask the right questions! This approach is not only logical it is crucial!
You have considered your options. You have narrowed it down to abortion or adoption? Now you must ask the right question!
1. Ask yourself, “Which option is right for my unborn child?” The unborn child must be the priority in your decision.
2. Here’s the problem. We ask the wrong question. Some pregnant mother’s will often ask, “What’s best for me?” If you ask the wrong question you will undoubtedly arrive at a wrong conclusion.
3. Asking the wrong questions will fuel the fire of chaos, confusion and havoc. It is totally absurd to think we are going to reach a right conclusion if we ask the wrong questions. That is insane!
Suppose you do ask the right question. “What is best for my unborn child?” You chose adoption. How can this be right for my child? 1. First of all, it is right on a spiritual level. God alone is sovereign over life and death! Job understood this truth when he lost his sons and daughters. Job said, “Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD (See Job 1:18-22). The word “gave” is a reference to the birth of Job’s children and the words “taken away” refer to the death of his children. Life and death are in the hands of the Lord! God alone is the giver of life, therefore only He has the sovereign rule over death. To terminate a pregnancy is to play God!
2. Secondly, you can give your gift of life to another family. In many cases you can be involved in choosing the adopting parents. Over the years I have personally witnessed the incredible joy of godly parents raising an adopted child.
I will never forget a particular morning in 1982. A young deacon and his lovely wife came by the church to see me before they went to work. This godly couple had been married about 8 years. Up to this point they were not able to conceive a child. The husband looked toward me and said, “Preacher, we’vebeen praying about an adopting a child. What do we need to do?” I told them to let me pray about it and I would check out some sources. We prayed and the couple went to their jobs. The husband was a CPA and the wife was an elementary school teacher. Two of the finest people you could ever meet.
I was a zealous 23 year old pastor, but a novice to say the least. I told them I would pray about other sources simply because I didn’t have a clue what to do. I called a children’s home in Mississippi that was operated by a Temple graduate that I heard in chapel before I graduated. He said that He had a fine teenage girl who grew up in wonderful Christian family who got pregnant outside of wedlock. Furthermore, he said that they were looking for the “perfect couple” to adopt this baby. I told the Brother their search was over. I had the perfect couple here in Tennessee. Within seven days the pregnant teenager
moved to Tennessee to have her baby. She was probably about 7 months pregnant at this time. According to the legal professionals the baby had to be born in Tennessee. The parents of the adopting mother lived in Tennessee approximately 2 hours away. That week the teenage girl moved in with this family until the baby was born. I will never forget going to The Baptist East Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee to visit the family. Etched forever in my mind is probably the most magnificent memory I have ever witnessed in ministry. I was able to go back to the nursery where the babies were. I peered through the glass and saw this beautiful little girl. The glow surrounding her petite body was angelic. A few minutes later I was able to see both of the adopted parents hold this precious gift for the first time. The Momma began to weep. I turned to daddy and saw a tear fall from the corner of his eye. I tried to be strong for the family, nonetheless like a chain reaction, I blubbered all over myself. Apart from seeing a sinner saved, this was one of the most glorious experiences I have ever witness. This precious baby was truly a gift from God to mommy and daddy. This cherished little baby is now in her twenties and has lived a remarkable life. She called me on the phone about 10 months ago and we had a terrific conversation.
3. Thirdly, I suggest you interview an adopted child who is at least 18 years old. Ask them if they are happy their birth parents chose adoption over abortion? I promise, you won’t be surprised by their answer!
4. Fourthly, let’s face the truth. Whether you chose adoption or abortion you will go through life without your child! Why not let your innocent child live? I would never purposely offend anyone. But in all reality you were the one who made the mistake. The innocent life in your womb has done absolutely nothing wrong! How can you terminate the life of an innocence baby? I think we need to carefully consider what Solomon said,
“These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren” (Proverbs 6:16-19).
Focus your attention on the phrase, “hands that shed innocent blood” (v.17b). Solomon informs us that God sane' {hates} the hands that murder the guiltless! Who could be more innocent than a baby in the mother’s womb? This question may be rhetorical, but I believe it must be answered! Please don’t forget we must ask the right questions to get the right answers. This has been the problem! We’ve been asking the wrong questions; therefore we are coming to the wrong conclusions.
[1] John Ensor,
Answering the Call, (Colorado Springs: Focus on the Family, 2003), 141.
[2] John Piper,
The Darkness of Abortion and the Light of the Truth, (desiringGod.org, January 26, 2003).
[3]The Abortion Fact Book, National Committee for Adoption, June 1989; NCFA Memos.
[4] U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare, Children’s Bureau, Welfare Administration, Child Welfare Statistics, Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 1961; and Maza PL, Adoption trends: 1944-1975, Child Welfare Research Notes, 1984, No. 9.
