Maranatha Messenger

WHAT TO DOWHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do Right
(Part 5 )

OTHER ALTERNATIVES?

Is adoption the only alternative to abortion? Absolutely not! In most circumstances adoption may be the best solution, but it is not the only solution. You basically have four other choices.
1. First of all, marriage is another option. However, let me share a word of caution. An untimely pregnancy should never be the only reason a couple gets married. Years ago responsible couples felt obligated to get married in order to provide a decent home for their child only to get a divorce a few years later. As my father use to say, “Two wrongs don’t equal right.” I agree! In some cases marriage will only complicate matters even worse. But again we must stop and ask the right questions.
a. Ask yourself, “Is he or she the one God wants me to spend my life with?” This question must be first and foremost in your search for God’s will.
b. Then ask yourself, “Do I love him or her with all of my heart?” Do I really want to wake up beside this person for the rest of my life? By the way, there is no hurry. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you should rush into a marital relationship.
c. I highly recommend you see your pastor for biblical counseling before plunging into marriage. Let him help you wade through these crucial decisions.
2. Secondly, you can raise the child as a single parent. Although this is not ideal it has been done. Scores of mothers have successfully achieved this monumental task. Even before you entertain this option I highly recommend that you ask these questions.
a. Will my parents help me raise my child? If so, sit down with your pastor and ask him to help you clearly define the role of each person.
b. Will your parent’s baby sit while you work or attend night school?
c. Will mom and dad let us live with them until I get my feet on the ground? Without a doubt the grandparents are going to play a significant role in raising your child. Are you sure they’re up to the challenge? I promise you this is not going to be easy on you or your parents. Nevertheless, I have personally witnessed the success and failures of this option.
3. Thirdly, you can give custody of your baby to the father. Perhaps you feel inadequate to raise your child or your support system from your parents is not sufficient, you might consider giving custody to the father. Even though you may be vilified by many who deem your decision as unacceptable in American culture it is still better than abortion.
a. Again, the father of the child must have a good parental support system before this will work too. His parents must be willing to assist him in raising the child. Very rarely do families chose this option. However, it is an alternative.
4. Fourthly, the grandparents can assume the role of raising the child. Some of the greatest parents in the world are grandparents. While every situation is different, this alternative has worked for several families. Consider the pluses:
a. Grandparents are wiser and experienced in raising children.
b. Normally they are retired and have more time to devote to the child.
c. Also, it appears that grandparents are more patient and understanding.
d. They possess a great deal of love to share.
However, there is a downside to this option. Stop and consider these questions. Do you want to spend your golden years raising a child? Are you physically up to the challenge? What about the PTA, Cub Scouts, Brownies, gymnastics and Little League baseball? Can you handle these events all over again? Do you the stamina to stay up all night and nurse a sick child? These questions plus many more must be considered.

Nevertheless, in spite of the various obstacles, I have met numerous grandparents who assumed the parental role with great success. Should you ask them today if they have any regrets, without a doubt they would say no. Grandparents definitely have a lot to
offer their grandchildren!
What do you do when you don’t know what to do? I recommend that you simply do right! Although doing right may not be convenient, it is still right to do right! There is no doubt you have been broadsided by this untimely pregnancy. I understand that you must be devastated, shocked and stunned. Nonetheless, the decisions you make the next few hours will be pivotal through the entire process. Take some time to grieve, but quickly gather your bearings. You have some choices to make. Only remember, you must ask the right questions in order to come to a right conclusion. Paul informed
Timothy that the conclusion of the commandment is love out of a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5). May God help you to make your decision based on the love of God, a good conscience and a genuine faith in the Word of God. Are you confused? Don’t have a clue on what to do? May God help you to do right!

1. How do you feel about the unmarried mother getting married?______________________
________________________________________________________________________
2. How do you feel about the unmarried mother raising the child as a single parent?_______
________________________________________________________________________
3. What about the grandparents?_____________________________________________
4. What about the teenage father?____________________________________________