Maranatha Messenger

READ THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL
(Part II)

THE CORINTHIAN CONVERSATION

Suppose your daughter is a dorm student at a liberal arts college approximately fifty miles away from your home. Periodically your daughter comes home for weekend visits and to get her laundry done. On this particular weekend you notice something’s different. She’s very cheerful. She has that sparkle in her naïve eyes. She’s overtly optimistic. You can’t help but wonder, what’s going on in her life? That evening after supper she asks if she can talk to you. Maybe she wants some extra money? Perhaps she needs something done to her car? Surely she hasn’t fluked out of College? Dinner is finished and the table is cleared; it’s just you, your spouse and your daughter. To your utter amazement you hear those dreaded words, “Daddy, Momma, can I get engaged? You didn’t even know she had a serious boyfriend, nonetheless want to be engaged. To lighten the moment, she assures you she’s not pregnant. After you get over the initial shock, you inquire about your child’s future mate. As the parent, you realize marriage is probably the single most important event in the life of your daughter. Therefore, you begin to ask question after question. To your complete utter surprise you discover your child’s fiancée is an unbeliever. What are you going to do? What will you tell her to keep her from tying the knot with an unsaved man? Furthermore, she is totally convinced that her boyfriend will go to church after they get married. He even told her that he would become a Christian after they have time to settle down in their marriage. Wow! How many times I have heard that line before? Mom, dad what are you going to tell your daughter? What do you do when you don’t know what to do? We must immediately embrace the scriptures as our perfect counselor! The answer you provide may be the defining moment in your daughter’s life. The wise parent will remain calm even though fear may grip your heart. You must resist the temptation of becoming infuriated with your child. Needless to say, you need the lamp of God’s Word to shed light on this situation. You carefully pick up your Bible and turn to Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. You gently explain to your daughter that it is wrong for a believer to be yoked to an unbeliever. Paul tells us, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). What does it mean to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever? The Greek word heterozugeo {unequally yoked together with} is found only one time in the Greek New Testament. Paul’s agricultural metaphor is a restriction against forming close ties with non-Christians. His illustration is based on Deuteronomy 22:10 that prohibited the yoking of an ox with an ass for plowing. His point is compatibility! To harness an ox and ass together would violate the principle of compatibility. The Old Testament reveals the ox was considered a clean animal, while the ass was deemed unclean. These beasts were totally two separate breeds! Likewise, the believer and the unbeliever possess two distinct natures. Therefore, this bond would prove to be incompatible. Such a marital mismatch could prove fatal to this union. By the way, this principle needs to be shared with your children at a young age and rehearsed periodically. Such faithful counsel could prevent this very situation from happening.
As you read the 2 Corinthians passage to your daughter, give her time to respond. Be gentle, yet convincing in your answers. Continue to share with her Paul’s inspired argument. Thoroughly explain to your daughter the five reasons why Paul demanded that the believer must not be “unequally yoked together” with an unbeliever. Show how He used a handful of rhetorical questions to get his point across. Explain the first rhetorical question Paul utilized in his argument; “what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness” (2 Corinthians 6:14b)? The answer is obvious! None! There is absolutely no spiritual metoche {fellowship} between the believer and the unbeliever. Therefore, it is absolutely wrong for a believer to marry a non-believer. You must calmly explain Paul’s logic to your daughter. Then move on to the second Pauline argument.
Explain the second rhetorical question Paul used in his case against mixed marriages. He goes on to say, “what communion hath light with darkness” (2 Corinthians 6:14c)? The Greek word koinonia {communion} implies joint participation or sharing spiritual intimacy. Even a fool can distinguish between light and darkness. Why? Because they are totally opposite! Likewise, the Christian and non-Christian totally differ with each other. The contrast is likened to night and day. Blending a believer with an unbeliever is like mixing oil and water! Expound and expand this truth with your child. Reason with your daughter by using this scripture.
Then move on to the third rhetorical question Paul employed in his argument. He asked, “what concord hath Christ with Belial” (2 Corinthians 6:15a)? The Greek word sumphonesis {concord} comes from our English word “symphony” and means
agreement. The expression Belial is another name for Satan. A more literal paraphrase of this verse would be “what agreement or harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil?” Paul’s reasoning is so persuasive it is impossible to oppose. To contest such spiritual logic would be like damning up Niagara Falls with popcorn and peanut butter. It will not stand! Furthermore, an unsaved person cannot have the same opinion as a saved person concerning Jesus Christ. The non-Christian believes Jesus was merely a man. Yet on the other hand, the child of God believes Jesus is the God-man. Paul’s position is irrefutable! There cannot be spiritual harmony between a saved spouse and an unsaved spouse. But on the contrary, there will be spiritual disharmony, discord and disagreement. Your daughter needs to understand Paul’s logic.
Continue reading the 2 Corinthians passage; press on to the fourth rhetorical question that Paul submitted. Describe what he meant when he asked, “What part hath he that believeth with an infidel” (2 Corinthians 6:15b)? The Greek word meris {part} means common ground. Some scholars even translate this phrase, “How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?” Paul wanted to be absolutely clear in this matter of mixed marriages. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ must be the glue that holds together the marital bond. Money, sex, nor physical beauty can hold a marriage together. These temporal characteristics are constantly changing because they are physical, material and fleshly. Money comes and goes. Sexual gratification declines with age. Physical beauty fades over time. We all succumb to blisters, bulges, bifocals, baldness and even bunions. The physical will diminish through the years. Therefore, you must make it clear to your daughter that she cannot build the marital relationship on the physical alone. Physical attraction will fade over time. Furthermore, feelings of emotion, passion and infatuation can hypnotize you with blissful euphoria. Nevertheless, reality always has a way of ruining fantasy. Emotions change with circumstances! Your feelings can definitely be misleading! However, when a Christian couple builds their home on the foundation of Jesus Christ that union is safe and secure. This does not mean you will be exempt from the storms of life. It simply means your foundation is strong and sturdy. The Lord Jesus tells us the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on the sand. Both families faced the same storms, similar winds and the same kind of flooding. But the foolish man’s house collapsed because it was built on the sand. Yet the wise man’s house continued to exist because it was build on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27). What made the difference? The only difference was the foundation. Your daughter must comprehend that the foundation made all the difference in the world with these two families. Try your best to end the conversation with Paul’s final rhetorical question. One has to admit that Paul has built an air tight argument concerning mixed marriages in this passage. By this time in the conversation you pretty much know if you are making any headway with your daughter.
Nevertheless, press on by explaining what Paul meant when he said, “what agreement hath the temple of God with idols” (2 Corinthians 6:16a)? In so many words, Paul is simply asking if idolatry and Christianity are compatible. In the same way false religions and Christianity oppose each other; a saved spouse and an unsaved spouse are totally contrary one with the other.
At this point in the conversation your daughter will either be softened or hardened. Trust me; you will know exactly where you stand with your daughter. As the parent, ask yourself these questions. How did my daughter verbally respond to biblical reasoning? What did you learn from her vocal reaction? Secondly, what did her facial expression convey? Did she smile or did she frown? Did she show anger or did she seem open? Did she cut you with glaring eyes? Or was she weeping during the conversation? Then thirdly, analyze her body language. Did she sit up or did she slump over? Was she calm or fidgety? Was she on the edge of her seat or was she more laid back? Did she aggressively use hand gestures or did she keep them in her lap? These are a few questions you may want to ask yourself in order to evaluate your “Corinthian conversation.”